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I hope in all the stars that you and I will not have any expiration date. A chocolate shake. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. #3. Chocolate JokesWhat did the M&M go to college?Because he wanted to be a Smarty.What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?Chocolate Chip Wookiee.Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar?Sniggas.What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?They dont last long for fat people.Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?A mootation.My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.Everyone got a piece.Why did people make white chocolate?So black kids could get dirty faces too.When it comes to stealing chocolate barsI have a couple twix up my sleeve.Kids these days are so stupid.They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso. Cao-cao! I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. Therapy Are you chocolate spread? Whos there? Vegetable Jokes. I like to keep my Options open.Whats the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and one that produces chocolate milk? If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate! Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. He says "I'd like a kipper tie please". Available on Etsy. Sniggas. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Lets check them out! I was going to get you a box of chocolates, but you already have a sweeter box. Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog. My favorite place in the world is cuddled next to you nibbling something sweet. I thought of you while having chocolate cake, because you are just too sweet. (LogOut/ It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Hey girl can you be the candy sprinkles to my ice cream? Chocolates can give us a lot of emotions. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" In deaths agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. Is your name chocolate, because you make my serotonin levels rise and give me a sense of pleasure. Why not get started now? I feel the rush upon eating chocolate whenever I hold your hand. 3. The other watches your snatch. - You can GET chocolate. The young man loved peanuts. I can only imagine how people in the park would react! Bagel Jokes. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I probably have some sort of chocolate five times a week. Love & Sex Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. "Take only one. Forget love Id rather fall in chocolate! Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing? Yo mamma so dumb, if her brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill a M&M. A new hybrid. Do not Disturb! Add love and sweet chocolate to your romantic life today. His aged and withered hand painstakingly made its way toward a cookie when it was suddenly smacked by a spatula. You and I were mint to be! 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want! I would gladly love what you sweet foods just to get to your heart. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). While some of the jokes on this list are pretty straightforward (see the Cat's boner-hat at the end), this one really is for the older crowd. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . These are great. - Jack Whitehall. They dont last long for fat people. After about 20 years of marriage, Im finally starting to scratch the surface of that one [what women want]. Make a list of these one-liners and then roll them out like Maltesers. My love for you is like hot chocolate, I just cant hold on to it. Because he wanted to be a Smarty. They had a baby, Ruth. What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack? But you have no chocolate! Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now theres only one. And it always feels good. What are the 4 major food groups? A marsbar! Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. Simply put everyone has a price, mine is chocolate! 2. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Danny Tanner was great, but Bob Saget loved working blue. Have a look! What did the M&M go to college? Lets get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? Chocolate-covered aunts.What kind of chocolate can you buy at the airport? What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? . Girl youre like a ganache cause you make this cake better just like you make my day better. Heist cream! Donut rain on my parade. ( Ice Cream Jokes) What one thing became more clear as you got older?. Friend 2: Can't, I'm not black. Whos there? A man found a magic lamp on the beach. Alicia Silverstone, The taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate entirely by myself. A Wispa.Knock, knock.Whos there?Candy boy.Candy boy who?Candy boy have another piece of chocolate? Never eat more chocolate than you can lift. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." Patrick Skene Catling. You could put all the sweets business if you will be consistently sweet like that. Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people. Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. You're a chip off the old block (of cookie dough). my favorite is the m&m racist oe lol why are there no white m&ms. Babe, you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. The closer you get to a pure chocolate liquor (the chocolate essence ground from roasted cacao beans) the purer it is, the more satisfying it is, the safer it is, and the healthier it is. It can make us feel happy and a lot more. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. She had Josie 's classic hairdo (complete with a tiny bow), and was a girlfriend of Reggie. Am i enough for you? TheLaughFactory. The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. A balanced diet consists of items from the five major food groups: dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate. We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. If there is a food that tastes like you I would definitely get a supply of those forever. A Kit Kat! Do you mind if I share these chocolate with you? Religion What do you call an extra sweet cookie? I would like to be your stash of food that can give you comfort whenever you are sad. A mootation. - You can have chocolate in in public. Chocolate is a serious thing! The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, the best of dirty verbal jokes that will coil your toes , take up the challenge not to laugh, try not to laugh, How do you know its cold outside? Are you chocolate milk? What is a monkeys favorite cookie? Its a Ferrari Rocher.I heard a chocolate joke the other day, but it wasnt that funny and only got Snickers out of me.Life is like a box of chocolates full of nuts.A boy threw a milk chocolate bar at me. ", responds the alien. (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) 131 Star Wars Jokes That Definitely Have The Force. Babe you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate? Can you think of anything sweeter than a joke about chocolate? Were like hot chocolate and marshmallows. Why a carrot as a logo? It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. He rubs it and a genie appears. ao! Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Dairy, who? A cad-bury. Apparently, he still had a few twix up his sleeves. Want to share this lovely candy bar with me and possibly a lifetime? I can make you so happy with all the stash I have at home. Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Cause I want to take your top off. So I just snickered. It sprinkles. Did you hear about the affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? He slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and, with even greater effort, forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. In 1724, Dr. Richard Brookes claimed that chocolate prolonged life and cured ringworm and ulcers. What happens before it rains chocolate? A Guyanese and a Jamaican walk into a store, the guyanese tief a chocolate bar and when they left the store he said "yuh see dat?" A: To get chocolate milk. Candy who? All Rights Reserved. Baby, I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. But he minded his own business.. A moo-tation.Whats an electricians least favourite ice cream flavour? What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Turn off the lights.I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. Babe, you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. Thanks. Cause mocha is made from two of my favorite food in the world. Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. "For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol." The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears. Being with you is like getting into cloud nine full of sweets. In fact, just one ounce of chocolate has about as much of these plant chemicals as a cup of brewed black tea. You brighten up my day like only drizzle on strawberries can. If they dont have chocolate in heaven, I aint going. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". Chocolate boosts your immunity and heart health and improves brain function. And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". ChocoLATE. Make your lady smile with these jokes. Chocolate isnt like premarital sex. What do parrots say when they see a candy bar? What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? In addition to making us feel happy, it has a lot of other benefits as well. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. What candy is only for girls? Thomas Jefferson, All of the evil that people have thrust upon chocolate is really more deserved by milk chocolate, which is essentially contaminated. Magic Lamp 84. (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. I love it, I love it, I love it. James Wadsworth, A History of the Nature and Quality of Chocolate. Dairy milk chocolate! You can use them to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these. Your email address will not be published. Plane chocolate.What kind of chocolate bar can you eat in a library? Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. A Candy Baa. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Who is the sweetest man in the world? So, without wasting the time, lets enjoy these jokes. . "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. 1. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. I'll start by nibbling on your ears and save the rest for last. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? I love a man with chocolate on his breath. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! 1. The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. Sense of Humor. 4. Because I would love to make up for if you let me. Are you ready? I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. Snickers he only snickers! (LogOut/ Chocolate is the greatest gift it was really great choice for gifting. Sweetie I can be your sweets in this world full of bitter people. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe, Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Currently you have JavaScript disabled. You can also listen to t. I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. You make me feel a lot giddier like I have eaten a box of chocolate. Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. I do not want a piece of you because I wanted the whole lot of you. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. Here are 50 funny Elf jokes, including Elf jokes for kids. When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate. It is well to abstain from chocolate in order to avoid the familiarity and company of a nation so suspected of sorcery [Spain]. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. 0 Laughs. One key, not just to keeping weight down and staying guilt-free, but also to keeping taste buds sharp (essential for the professionals who evaluate new products as well as judge recipes), is being discriminating. ao! "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's.". Nursing Home. Ben Strohecker, chocolatier. Chocolate left in a car? If you are a chocolate lover, youll surely enjoy reading these chocolate jokes too. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. I cannot think of anything sweeter than chocolate than oops of course there is you! Because I want to cum inside your chocolate factory. So we've rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you . One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. Because he wanted to be a Smartie. Dont fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with! Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny or at least mildly amusing. From clever Valentine's Day puns to corny dad jokes to adorable knock-knock jokes, these hilarious ideas will get all the giggles. When no one understands you, chocolate is there. Once you consume chocolate, chocolate will consume you. Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. I do not like sweets but I would gladly eat them just to get close to you. A candy baaaaa-r! Debbie and Dilly Dalton: In the early years, identical blonde twins Debbie and Dilly Dalton appeared. Half dark and half light chocolate. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. Chocolates are an excellent energy-booster, but they go extremely wild when kids have overeaten. @. University of California-Berkeley Wellness Letter, We already know that increased consumption of fruits and vegetables results in an increase of antioxidants in our blood. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! The pope retorts "Chocolates? John Travolta, Dont wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. There was a convertible. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live, As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. What does it do before it rains candy? Little Truths What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long? Diabetes. If you found these funny cookie jokes and puns ful-filling, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these: Baker Jokes. Because you are as sweet as chocolate. If you were ice cream and i was chocolate sauce, I'd pour my love all over you! Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its chocolate. Eat a square meal a day a box of chocolate. The segments were spun-out into their own series on June 13, 2003 (although the 2003-2004 episodes were also produced originally for Grim & Evil), and continued to air until November 9, 2007. You look like you could use some hot chocolate Well, I got some sweet white chocolate. When the three kids discover that a . Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe One snatches your watch. The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts. I like a piece every day. Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk? You're the milk to my cookie. Monster House. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. Furthermore, most of these funny chocolate jokes are clean and safe for everyone. Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. Mel Gibson, Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created, next to the likes of Paul Newman and Gene Kelly. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. There are other ways to make them happy, like our chocolate jokes. Now, isnt that handy? A naked man broke into a church. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? They had a baby, Ruth. 64460V@D1.UUCP (R Scott V Paterson) A man walks into the local ice cream parlor and tells the attendant he wants a gallon of vanilla, a gallon of strawberry and a gallon of chocolate ice cream. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. Chocolate chimp! While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. We share them in our weekly newsletter. As long as its chocolate. Hot chocolate. Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. Babe, I don't think there's anything hotter than chocolate, until I met you. A chocolate baa.They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses I Heard Cadbury Are going to Make An Oriental Chocolate Bar Needing comforting, I then shared my COCOA with CC. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. "I know . Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. To get chocolate milk. "I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist. These chocolate knock-knock jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. A: Because it lost its filling I feel better already with you holding my hand, sweets arent even needed. A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. Q: What happens if you mix hot cacao and hot cocoa by hand? I heard you have a stash of kisses in your dorm can i possibly get one from you? Cacao. Whether dark, milk or white, chocolate is satisfying and decadent. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? 75 FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. The prisoners thought they wouldnt be any good, but they were. What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month? So it fits in the box. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. I don't. I just don . What do you call a womanising chocolate? Hershey. So, grab your chocolate chip cookies and get ready for some laughs. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! Its also not funny to cry over chocolate milk spilled! What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. Because I want to cum inside your chocolate factory. You know youre a chocoholic if, when the leaves change in the fall, you start gathering Almond Joy candy bars for the coming winter. Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. Are you a chocolate bar? We go together naturally like marshmallows go with chocolate. Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. But it could just be a Chinese whisper. Nitric oxide plays such an important role in the maintenance of healthy blood pressure and, in turn, cardiovascular health. Chocolate is one of lifes simple pleasures. Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Finally he announced crossly Young lady, youve been eating far too many sweet things, several of your teeth need filling., Oh goody! she replied happily. Id give up chocolate, but Im no quitter. Just so you know I have a ref full of chocolate, a couch and good films at my house. The man says, "And the Viagra?" Do you like it dark or milky? How dairy.Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.What kind of bar is kid friendly? The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." What do cannibals eat for dessert? Andrew Weil, M.D. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. Mr. Good What's the best part of Valentines Day? - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Hey Cookie, you're the sweetest. Its my favorite feeling. Cao-cao! A chocolate bar. Love sharing with your friends and family? Tosh made a rape joke . Needless to sayHe got his Snickers in a Twix.Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.The first one pulled the second one out.The second one said, Thanks, youre a lifesaver!The first one responded, Actually, Im a KitKat.I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.They wanted a Quik high. You make my heart melt faster than hot chocolate. Are you chocolate? "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.".